


Story of a girl

by delusaedisillusa



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Not Beta Read, Orphans, Sibling Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-29 23:24:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6398464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delusaedisillusa/pseuds/delusaedisillusa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cersei was just five years old but she felt the dread shallowing her.<br/>She had no place in her mother’s new family, she wouldn’t play a main role anymore.<br/>She would never forget Jaime’s birth, it was the day she started to hate, the day bitterness and envy bloomed in her heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Story of a girl

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe a one shot,maybe not

Cersei Lannister, former Marbrand was five years old as she started to hate.  
It was like that time, when she had wanted to play with the boys only to be told she couldn’t , because she was just a little girl.  
Like when the teacher told the class to draw their pet, and she had been scolded for drawing a lion.  
When she had wanted to see her dad, but she couldn’t visit him, because he was sleepy.  
It was all of it, only worse.  
She looked at her new baby brother, a pink thing with yellow hairs, not understanding the whole fuss about a little something that could only cry and shit.  
Even her new dad was different, he smiled and kissed her mother’s forehead.  
“Look at him Cersei, he is your splitting image!”  
“I don’t think so” she said clear and pointed, the way they had teached her to talk, the adults laughed.  
Tywin Lannister had frowned a bit.  
“His eyes are blue” she explained, the baby had scary blue eyes like Mrs. Tippy who had been their blind neighbor.  
Joanna beamed. “Your eyes were just the same. Your little brother will resemble you like a twin” she caressed Cersei’s curls, the little girl still recalled that her true daddy had always done this.  
Mother looked fatigue, but happy, the way she had looked in her wedding pictures as she had married for the second time.  
Cersei believed she laughed and smiled so much because her new father didn’t.  
“His name is Jaime, from the french “J’aime” I love. Because love is the most important thing.” but she wasn’t looking at Cersei, her eyes were looked with them of her husband, who glanced proud and loving at her and the baby.  
A father, a mother and their child.  
Cersei was just five years old but she felt the dread shallowing her.  
She had no place in her mother’s new family, she wouldn’t play a main role anymore.  
She would never forget Jaime’s birth, it was the day she started to hate, the day bitterness and envy bloomed in her heart.

Joanna Lannister had married very young.  
Her marriage had been a decent one because she'd worked for it.  
That what she believed to be love, quickly vanished.  
And she could named the day it had been evident for her.  
The pump for their aquarium, a costly wedding gift she hadn't be happy to receive, had broken down. She had asked for her husband to go to the shop, normally she would have done herself, but it had been two weeks before Cersei's birth and her grotesquely swollen stomach didn't allowed her to drive their little car.  
“Please Jo, there are only fifteen minutes left!” he had begged.  
Joanna was still a Lannister. She didn't beg.  
Three fishes had died.  
Joanna never saw herself as a soft hearted person, but blame the hormones, blame the painful image of her baby, a baby that swam like a fish in her belly, drowning in her womb...she couldn't say why. But her feelings for him, her love was gone.  
Addam wasn't a cruel person, but he had belittled her feelings, he hadn't understand how important this had been for her. She would have forgive him, she forgave him, but she couldn't help herself. She had made a mistake  
“Jo, I'll buy you all the fishes you want. Please don't cry anymore. It isn't good for our princess!” He tried to soothe her  
He had believed her sadness to be pregnancy inducted. His indulgent face would have sparked her rage, but she had been to shaked for it  
Joanna Lannister had cried because she had an epiphany.  
She had married the wrong man. Not the worst, but not the man for her.  
Worst she was pregnant with the child from a man she didn't loved.  
For an instant she hated the little girl she was carrying, soon ashamed of herself.  
And was relieved as Cersei had been born, because she loved her. She may had not loved her husband , but that didn't make the love for her daughter any smaller.  
She hadn't that much time to grieve about her lost love. Addam worshipped Cersei from day one, his care was heartwarming and Joanna decided that affection was as good as love.  
Little Cersei had been a daddy girl, Joanna didn't resent her, years later she had been happy and relieved that Addam had been able to spend so much time with his beloved “Ceci”  
Her died barely six months after a pancreatic cancer had been diagnosticated.  
Joanna was twenty two and already a widow.  
Cersei had been desperate, she had wanted her father, was cranky, wouldn't sleep or let her sleep and behaved like a three year old nightmare.  
She felt sorry for her, but she was exhausted, she tried to let her play with other children, but Cersei may had looked like a blonde angel, but she used her teeth like a piranha.  
Joanna started to work for the main house as a secretary for Tywin Lannister.  
She was too young to live only for Cersei, and soon she married her boss, who was related to her through his father and related to her late husband through his mother.  
Cersei was visibly impressed by him, she was calmer, from the screaming wildcat to a normal girl.  
Because of her work, she would often leave Cersei alone and for this she felt guilty.  
After Addam’s death they had shared a bed, together in their cozy house, the only way to let Cersei sleep. Casterly Rock was immense, no more sleeping in mama’s bed and Tywin had been adamant about hiring a nanny.  
“So much changed for her, too soon! She is still so young!”  
“It is good that she is young. You can't teach an old dog new tricks!”  
One day she announced her daughter her new pregnancy. After persuading herself that Cersei would have been happy, somehow  
“Cersei you'll soon have a little brother! Isn't it amazing?”  
Cersei had looked at her doll “I want a cat!”  
“Cersei you can have a cat and a brother. How does this sound?” Joanna felt pathetic and anxious, she tried to convince her daughter, fishing for consent  
“A red cat. He should eat all the people I don't like”  
“I'll see what I can do” she failed miserably 

  
Her mother had a lion. Her new father was a lion, even if he looked like a normal person. She had been cautious so he wouldn't devour her. Nanny told her that they would abandon her if she was too fussy and that her mother would soon have a new family. She couldn't have a lion or become one, because she wasn't a Lannister from Casterly Rock, she only lived there because of her mother, but she would have the most dangerous cat.  
She would name him Joffrey!

 

 

 


End file.
